To clarify I have kind of a lingerie fetish that I don’t want to share with my wife so is it okay to have?

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  Valerie X- ooops! said,

  Jim, i have read your other questions.

  You are one great big sexual mess.

  Seriously.
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  krandazzo1986 said,

  why do you men think little things like thisd arrent cheating….pay attention closely…ITS CHEATING ITS CHEATING ITS CHEATING! just because your physically not having sex with this other person doesnt mean your not mentally CHEATING thinking doing talking about anything other than with your wife is CHEATING!!!!!!!
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  ayoungwomanonearth said,

  You would lose "points" with your wife because you are a plain old ordinary cheater and wives just do not like or enjoy being cheated on in anyway shape or form.

  And YES that is cheating. You are a weakling. AND to make it even worse !!! YOU LIE TO YOURSELF! Behind your fraudulent image you are bizarre!

  Valerie is absolutely correct… you have a serious problem. The thing is.. will YOU realize it in time to save your marriage to your unsuspecting wife or not?
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  Arnold M said,

  In your wives eyes, you are cheating. I had that experience with online web chats. My wife accused me of cheating. It led to our breakup. If you must have the fantasy, you need an outlet, but it’s risky. If you want to control it, see a counselor.
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  elvlayarvvi said,

  wrong, it is cheating… it’s not ok to have a woman on the side even if it’s only on the phone… when you married you vowed to forsake all others, this includes sexual talk w/ a woman who is not your wife… perhaps if you were straight forward, and didn’t hint, she might take you seriously… a man who hints is not taken seriously… if you care about her, you would try to win points w/ her all the time and never lose points… if I was your wife, and found out you did this, I’d divorce, cheating is cheating…
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  Queen said,

  no it is not okay you need to tell her. pray. go to church and get some help
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  kittykatsback said,

  Same answer. And again, HINTING DOES NOT COUNT!

  She is your WIFE for Pete’s sake! Do you really want to go down that road of deceit?

  Let me guess, you already have….
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  Shaggy said,

  Your wife is obviously not into your crossdressing, get over it. Get counseling if you want to stay with your wife. You are cheating if you have phone sex with someone else. Respect her and break it off if you need to pursue this outlet for yourself.
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  BONE said,

  It’s technically not cheating, but you really should just come out and tell your wife. It will be awkward for a little while, but as she comes to grasp with your weird fantasy and excepts it, you’ll both be happier in the long run. You never know maybe she has an off the wall fantasy trapped inside a self conscious cage wanting to come out that you’ll inspire her to release.
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  Queenie` said,

  Here’s an easy test to see if it’s cheating from Dr. Phil:

  If you can do it with your wife there, it’s not cheating and not wrong!

  If you CAN’T or WON’T do it with your wife there, it’s wrong and cheating.

  Pretty simple, quit trying to convince yourself you are not cheating, good lord!

  Don’t think your wife is so stupid either, can’t wait til she finds out lol
  References :
  Married 23 yrs.

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  par said,

  u should tell her
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